Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
