Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
