I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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