i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
