bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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