Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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