We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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