i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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