Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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