My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
