i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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