Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
