he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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