you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
