dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
