Whod you bang
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
