I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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