I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
