NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
dude i'm inner monologue high
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
