he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
