whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
