i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
