I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
