What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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