Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
So vagazzling was a success
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
