In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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