awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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