have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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