Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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