Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
