thus making me awesome and them whores
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
