I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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