I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize