I wanna bring you to show and tell
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
