wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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