that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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