just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
