and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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