: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
