I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize