I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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