You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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