awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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