Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
All I want is dick and wine.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
