Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
