how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
