i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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