i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
