I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
