Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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