I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
