so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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