I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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