my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
