They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
