i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You are the jesus of drinking
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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