But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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