So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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