So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
