We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
