just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
