Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
How's work?
Spinning.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
