the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
