i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
