Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize