The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
