Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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