I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
