Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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