i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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