I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
