Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
