So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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