rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
