Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize