I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
