It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
