we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I think my vagina is haunted
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
