Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
