evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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